Sorry for the depressing posts/pictures guys, I really am.
My Father kissing my Mother one last time. She had already passed away =/
You’re probably thinking, “Uhh .. they’re old?”
Yes, good observation. I am adopted. I have no family but these two “old”, yet amazing, sweet, and loving people. My real mother had me at the age of 16, and unfortunately was not able to raise me as her own. I was a “mistake”.
Whatever, whatever, Its all good.
These two amazing beings adopted me as their own daughter at the age of one. I was fed, changed, put to sleep, taught, lectured, and LOVED, as though I was a child of their own. But I was, I was their child. I was forevermore their anak.
When I was a little girl, I used to walk into their rooms and rest my head on their chests to see if they were still breathing. At a young age, I was not stupid. I knew that my parents were not like most, and had only a few years ahead of them. So each night, I would religiously check upon their small, Filipino chests, to see if they were still rising and falling.
It turned into an OCD.
From 7-18 years old .. I would be like “Oh fuuuuck, its 2 in the morning .. are my parents still alive?” *gets up to check*
My Father is now 88. Amazing and unbelievable to all of my close friends/boyfriends who have ever met him. He dances to my hip hop, he walks like he’s 50, looks like he’s 70, and dresses like the sharpest man on any GQ magazine. Though stern, though he lectured loud enough for the neighbors to clearly hear each word, we never went to sleep mad at one another. It was a promise we made.
My Mother died at the age of 84. She was a beautiful woman, bursting with smiles and laughter that could melt even Scrooge’s and Grinch’s hearts. She was legally blind, yes .. blind. One would never guess though. Her senses were so crisp that she could sense me even before I walked into a room. She was my wonder-woman. She lectured me often, and though she repeated herself like the average mother, I listened to every word. I am the woman I am today because of her.
I plan to carry on her legacy through my name. She is, and always will be, my number one inspiration in life.
I fucked up a lot in my life.
I stole and got caught. (A fucking eye-liner from Macys -__-) They paid for the $1,000 fine instead of making me do community hours, punished me “filipino style”, and let me learn my own lesson.
I fucked up my grades in school. They still supported me, and spoke endless words of wisdom. Through their love, I was able to get my shit together.
I became a habitual liar and lost many friends. They held onto me when I cried at night, and told me that my true friends were still there. “Shhh, its okay, its okay. But … never lie anak, it will never get you anywhere. Anak, anak, look at me okay? We love you. We know who you are, and you are an amazing and beautiful young woman. No more tears anak, we will always be here. You have learned your lesson and God will reward you in good time. Those people, those barkada? They do not deserve your tears. You are our daughter. You are amazing the way you are. Mahal na mahal kita, walanang tears, okey? (We love you very, very much .. no more tears okay?)”
I have not told a single lie ever since. I found TRUE, strong self through all my bullshit, and resurected into a young, mature woman, all because of them.
This .. this picture above? This is the kind of LOVE I want. They were married for OVER 50 YEARS, and never left each other’s sides.
This is why UP makes my heart break each time. Doesn’t help that my Dad looks exactly like “Carl” either.
So this blog is to you Mom and Dad. Your love will be forever captured in this crappy 1.3 mega-pixel cellphone picture. I love you both with all my heart. Thank you for helping me grow into the woman I am today.
